Have you found that you are in or were in a relationship with a Joshua who is in relationships with several other people and treats you like shit but still can’t help but buy him things, carry his picture, send him lots of money, and follow him in a cult-like manner? Well, you’re (apparently) not alone. But no more worries; I’ve created this twelve-step program just for you (and all the others). Simply follow along.

Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves.

The twelve steps to overcome Joshua Addiction

1. Admit you are powerlessly and uncontrollably in love with the Joshua.

   This may be tricky. It would help to take an unbiased look at the past few months of your life. Do you carry a picture of a Joshua? Do you pull it out, kiss it, and say “I still love him” when you think about him? Do you send a Joshua money or buy cameras that cost more than $1,400 as birthday presents? Have you felt an abnormal amount of emotional pain or experienced trauma that warrants expensive therapy? These are all signs.

2. Let go of your usual ways, in the hope that this will help you see things from a broader perspective.

   Give up on trying to change the Joshua for the better and realize you will always be treated the same way you have been. Quit communicating with the Joshua as it will only cause more pain in the long run. Stop telling yourself that you want the Joshua back! Just let go!

3. Shift your focus, from being fixated on your problems and pain, to seeking a sense of wholeness and contentment in your life.

4. Honestly look at the effects of your Joshua Addiction on others and yourself.

5. Take responsibility for your actions.

6. See that your knee-jerk reactions have to do with being in the grip of more or less conscious fears.

7. Strive to find your motivation in a deeper sense of who you really are, rather than fear and defensiveness.

8. Stop blaming and feeling blamed, with a willingness to heal the wounds.

9. Swallow your pride, and sincerely apologize to people you’ve hurt or turned away, except when it would be counterproductive.

10. Live mindfully, paying attention to the motives and effects of your actions.

11. Stay tuned inside, in touch with a broader sense of who you really are, and a deeper sense of what you really want.

12. As you feel better about yourself, reach out to others who feel stuck. Establish bi-sexual relationships where necessary.

I wish all of you the best of luck.

Lindsey and Ali
Originally uploaded by Chris Brunner.

Well that was fun. Donald invited me to go down to Tuscaloosa for the Alabama game. Good shit. I got to see Donald, Joy, Joseph, Big Ben, his girlfriend, Allison, and Lindsey… none of whom I’ve hung out with in a while. That was fun. Donald says he kind of misses high school, which is the same thing Katie said when she first got back. Strange coincidence. High school with the old crew was a lot of fun – I wouldn’t have traded it for anything – and I was sad for a long time when everyone graduated two years ahead of me, But I eventually realized life goes on… I kinda feel bad for Donald and Katie that they haven’t found a group they’re happy with at their schools. =/ Also, everyone stayed in the southeast, so it’s not like anyone died or something. Donald wants to arrange a trip to Florida to see Alex Batten. That’ll be a lot of fun if he ever picks a time to do it.
Drama wouldn’t leave me while I was down there… not drama with people in Tuscaloosa, but others I know… but I didn’t let it fuck up my time down there. I’m tired of all this drama and I don’t want to have any part of it.
Oh yeah, I also called up some friends from high school who go to school down there and happened to be throwing a party. They came and picked me up and I spent time with them until everyone was passed out on the floor… at which point a sweet girl I met gave me a ride to my car and then let me follow her to where I needed to be, since I had no fucking clue where I was going. I got her number but not her name. =/ She kept saying she’ll call me though, so whatever. Things will work out.
Gonna go chill with Mallory and some others. Later.

Hmm… so there was an ATO party last night. Pretty good stuff. I still feel pretty hung over. Their Evil (their signature drink) is truly evil, but I guess that’s what PGA will do… I took Katie with me and she got to see Victor and John Mark (even though he didn’t stick around long) for the first time in at least two years. It was good stuff.

It’s my mom and Shannon’s birthday today! Yep, they were both born on the 1st of October, crazy, ehh? What’s crazier is that Rebecka’s 21st birthday is also today, and I’m supposed to celebrate with her. I have *no idea* how I’m gonna make this schedule work today.

Sorush’s car is up to $1,500 now… that lucky bastard…

Gotta run, later.